Then I see you standing there
by Alliegirl
Summary: Tragedy, five years, and their signatures on the dotted lines seperated them. WIP
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Then I see you standing there  
**_Author: _**_Alliegirl__  
_**_Characters:_**_ Logan, Veronica, Keith, Dick__  
__**Rating:**__ T (M later on)__  
_**_Spoilers:_**_ All seasons__  
_**_Word count:_**_ 2,194__  
_**_Summary: _**_Tragedy, five years, and their signatures on the dotted lines seperated them._  
**A/N **This is a (late) x-mas gift for my_vintage_soul (on LJ) Thanks to broodyletons(on LJ) for looking it over for me.

**A/N2: **I will be updating Peeping Piz & History of Abuse as soon as possible. I'm really sorry for the long wait.

**Echolls's fatal knockout**

**Echolls disappears after Sterger's death in title fight**

**Sterger buried in private family ceremony**

**6 weeks and no Echolls in sight**

Veronica leaned back in her chair and released a weary sigh. This - Logan - wasn't any of her business, not any more, not for a long time. Still, her heart ached for him, and there was a small part of her –okay, not so small part of her- that wanted to go to him and just hold him close, shut out the world. But that wasn't her right anymore, five years and their signatures on the dotted lines made sure of that.

Rising to her feet, Veronica swept the newspapers off her desk and into the trash before the regret and longing could overwhelm her. She and Logan had been over the moment she walked out the door, and he'd been sure to tell her there would be no going back. He'd meant it too. Two years after their divorce she'd gone to see him, hoping there was still a chance to make things right, hoping he hadn't put her behind him for good. She'd hoped in vain though. Logan hadn't wanted anything to do with her. It had been three years but she was guessing his feelings hadn't changed.

Walking purposefully to her filing cabinet Veronica pulled out a few case files. It was time to get to work and put the past behind her. She couldn't change anything that had happened and there was no point in dwelling on it.

888888888888

"Veronica Minx," an amused voice broke the silence, drawing Veronica 's gaze to the open door.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, not bothering with pleasantries. No matter how long she went without seeing him it was never long enough.

Dick sauntered into the room, plopping down in one of the brown leather chairs positioned in front of her desk. "Just thought I'd drop in and see how my favorite private dick is doing."

Veronica gathered up the files she's had spread across her desk and started placing them back in order. "As you can see I am doing great. Now get out."

"Why so hostile Ronnie, haven't you missed me?" Dick asked, his gaze following Veronica as she moved towards one of the black filing cabinets.

"Dick, I think not seeing is the main highlight of mine and Logan's divorce."

"Still covering that aching heart with sarcasm and anger huh? Don't worry Blondie, Logan and I would take you back in a heartbeat if you only asked."

Veronica paused briefly, lamenting the fact that she'd never purchased a gun. "Get out of my office Dick before I sic my dog on you."

"Hey calm down." Dick held up his hands. "I come in peace."

Veronica turned to face him, arms crossed.

"I swear," he leaned back in his chair, plopping his feet down on her desk. "I have a business proposition for you."

Veronica slapped his feet down. "Don't worry, Dick I'm sure the kid isn't yours."

"It never is," Dick smirked. "But that's not why I'm here."

"Well this should be good." Veronica sat down in her chair, eyebrows raised expectantly.

"So," Dick began, folding his hands and placing them on her desk. "I suppose you heard about Logan's latest snafu."

"He killed a man Dick, that's a bit more than a snafu."

Dick threw up his hands. "Well he didn't do it on purpose."

"That doesn't make it any easier for Jonathan's family," Veronica paused. "That doesn't make it any easier for Logan."

"See," Dick gestured to her. "You can do this emotional crap. That's why I came to you."

Veronica pinched the bridge of her nose. She was 4 hours and 2 cups of coffee away from being able to handle Dick Casablancas.

"What exactly do you want me to do Dick?"

"What do you think," Dick looked at her oddly. "Go find Logan and drag his ass back here. You give him a shoulder to cry on, a little bit of that sexy comfort and once he's through brooding I'll take him for drinks. Let the healing process begin!"

"You never change do you Dick?" Veronica asked.

Dick opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Veronica's phone ringing.

"Hello," Veronica answered. "Mars Investigations, this is Veronica." Pause. "Hello Mrs. Gugino."

Dick raised his eyebrows and tapped at an imaginary watch on his wrist, earning glare from Veronica before she turned her chair around. Dick slumped back in his chair with an annoyed sigh, sounding very much like a teenage boy. He continued to show his annoyance by kicking at Veronica's desk.

Veronica spun back around and fixed Dick with her death glare, perfected for moments such as this, and mouthed an angry. "Knock it off" to him. Due to her deep desire to get rid of Dick Veronica quickly concluded her call, setting up an appointment to meet with Mrs. Gugino later that day to go over the dirt Veronica had dug up on her son's fiancée.

With her concluded Veronica turned her attention back to her ex's pain in the ass friend/manager. Planting her squarely on the desk in front of her, Veronica rose to her feet.

"Dick, I know you operate on a different level than most people but even you should be able to grasp the concept of divorce."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Come on Ronster. You both are still hot for each other, you know it, and I know it. Just put yourselves and the rest of us out of our misery and hook back up."

Veronica shook her head. "Never let it be said that Dick Casablancas doesn't have a way with words. God, you're practically a modern day E.E. Cummings."

"So," Dick began, leaning forward, his hands clasp, forearms resting on his legs. "What do you say?"

"I say Logan and I are over, have been for a long time."

"Come on," Dick said, his voice taking on a somewhat pleading note. "You know you're gonna get back together. This is just a…break, your 500 millionth."

A break? God, she'd lost count of the times she'd wished it'd been as simple as that. Wished they could just be two messed up teenagers again. Wished they could go back to a time when a kiss and a few hours spent in bed was all it took for them to reconcile. But those days were long gone and she doubted Logan would let her in his front door let alone into his bed, or heart.

"I can't help you," Veronica stated firmly. "Now, I have work to do. Goodbye Dick."

Dick jumped to his feet, planting his hands on the desk, his casual demeanor giving way to a more desperate one. "Look, you're right. It's more than a snafu. He's fucked up, alright. I'm worried about him."

"I…I can't."

Dick straightened up, slowly, disappointment written on his face. Veronica felt a surge of guilt followed by a flash of anger at the fact that she was allowing Dick Casablancas to make her feel guilty. Dick was not her friend; he'd never been anything more than an annoyance she had to put up with. She didn't owe him any favors, if anything he owed her. And she was right, Logan was not her husband. Logan's life was no longer any of her business and she wasn't willing to once more suffer the pain and humiliation that tracking him down would cause. She'd learned her lesson.

"Well," Dick began. "I guess I'll see you around."

Veronica didn't respond, just quietly watched as Dick made his way out the door. Once she heard the outer office door close she sank back into her seat. Logan was a mess, that's what Dick had said. She didn't doubt it for moment. If anything she thought "a mess" wasn't a strong enough description. Logan and Jonathan Sterger had been friends for ten years. You didn't inadvertently cause the death of a friend and be anything short of devastated.

When Veronica had heard about Jonathan's death she had immediately driven over to see his wife, Emily. It had been over a year since they'd seen each other and Veronica hadn't been sure if her presence would be welcome, or what she would say. What did one say to an estranged friend when your ex accidentally took their husband's life?

In the end it hadn't mattered. Emily had answered the door and the two had regarded each other for a few moments in silence, before Emily's eyes had started to fill with tears. Veronica had moved forward and wrapped her arms around her, telling her how sorry she was.

Over the next few days Veronica had stayed with Emily, helping her with her three boys, funeral arrangements, and picking up family members flying in from other states. Once Emily's mother had arrived Veronica had headed back to her apartment, but she'd been back for the funeral and checked in with her every week.

During one of her weekly calls Veronica had tried to nonchalantly ask if Emily had heard from Logan. Emily had told her she hadn't spoken with Logan since the night Jonathan died, then she'd shocked Veronica by admitting she had seen Logan at the funeral, apparently he'd been standing a good distance away, watching but making no move to join the other mourners.

Veronica regretted the fact that she hadn't seen Logan that day. She could just imagine how he'd been, standing alone, hands in pockets and shoulders hunched. She wasn't sure what she would have said, or if she would have even had the nerve to approach him, but she wished…she just wished.

Before she had time to really dwell on Logan and everything that has happened in the past six weeks she heard the outer office door open and her father call out to her.

"I'm here," she replied.

Keith came into the door way, pausing to drop his bag on the floor. "Hey, honey."

"How'd it go?"

"No money shot," Keith sighed, dropping into the chair Dick had vacated.

"Well, tomorrow is another day," Veronica said, standing up and beginning to gather her things.

"Was that Dick Casablancas I saw leaving?"

"Uh, yeah," Veronica waved dismissively. "It was just…nothing."

"What did he want," Keith pushed.

Veronica shook her head, releasing a heavy sigh.

"Veronica?"

She briefly considered lying to him, but decided against it. Her father's BS detector had gotten stronger over the years where she was concerned. Ever since the fall out her freshman year of college, and later finding out about her rape he'd been unwilling to let things slide.

"I guess Logan has been MIA," Veronica explained, keeping her voice as neutral as possible. "Dick wants me to find him."

"And you told him?" Keith prodded, after taking a moment to absorb the information.

"I told him no," Veronica replied, giving a small shrug. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Are you sure?"

Veronica heaved a sigh. "Great, I see its time for my annual therapy session."

"Veronica."

Veronica grimaced. "I'm sorry. And yes, I'm sure. What, you think I should?"

Keith paused for a moment, and then slowly began. "I think it's been five years and your apartment still has the bare minimum. You come in every day and help Carol file and answer phones, occasionally you take a case. You see your friends but not often and you've been on a couple dates that never turned into anything."

"And seeing Logan will bring joy and endless social engagements into my life," Veronica crossed her arms and shifted, resting her hip against the desk. "This is the twenty-first century; I don't need Logan to complete me, to make me happy."

"No, no you don't." He paused. "Are you happy, Veronica?"

Veronica held her father's gaze for a moment then glanced away, unable to answer.

"Honey, I'm not telling you to go see Logan. I'd just like to see you…excited about your life." He continued, his voice taking on a melancholy tone. "I know the past few years have been rough, losing your mother and…and loosing the baby, getting divorced. You're a bright and talented woman and I hate to see you wasting your life."

Veronica blinked back her tears, stubbornly refusing to let them fall. Tears changed nothing and she couldn't afford to cry. Her mother was dead, her baby as well, and Logan wasn't coming back, she had to accept it and move on, if only everyone else could do the same.

"I'll think about it, everything," Veronica replied, placating her father. "No, I will, promise. It's just, I'm late. I have to meet with Mrs. Gugino and I'm meeting Mac and Liz at Parker's later, girl's night."

Keith sighed, admitting defeat for the moment. "I can meet with Mrs. Gugino, Veronica."

"Dad, I don't mind," she shrugged. "It pays the bills."

Veronica scooped up her bag, settling the strap on her shoulder. After grabbing her keys off the desk she made her way out of the office, stopping briefly to lay a kiss on her father's cheek.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Then I see you standing there

Author: Alliegirl

Characters: Veronica, Mac, Parker, OFC

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: All seasons

Word count: 1,503

Summary:Tragedy, five years, and their signatures on the dotted lines separated them.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. No excuses, I suck. Oh, and from now on check my profile page for updates on all of my fics.

After her meeting with Mrs. Gugino, Veronica headed over to Parker's house. Hectic work schedules and vacations had made it nearly impossible to arrange some quality "girl time" and though she was loath to admit it, Veronica had missed having them around for support.

Between the near-constant media coverage on Logan, the few calls from reporters wanting to get a quote from his ex, the visit from Dick, and the run in with Mrs. Gugino's son, - who had been less than appreciative of his mother's prying, despite the fact that her suspicions were founded (well-founded, or accurate) - it had been a stressful week. Veronica had been anxious to sit back and enjoy having nothing more to do than help Parker celebrate making partner.

8888888

As she took in the sight before her Veronica couldn't help the smile that spread over her face. Parker stood in the dining room, mixing herself yet another margarita while loudly singing an old Cyndi Lauper song. Mac watched Parker's performance with a grimace etched on her face, and Stasi merely chuckled into her drink.

They were not the group of friends she had pictured herself having when she was a young girl, and for that she was extremely grateful. Despite their differences and past issues they were good friends, the kind of friends she'd secretly longed for during her time as a high school outcast.

Mac groaned, jerking Veronica from her musing. "Make it stop."

"Eh, she made partner," Stasi shrugged. "If she wants to get drunk and act like an idiot, let her."

Veronica had to chuckle at that. At thirty-three, Anastasia "Stasi" Collins was a fully licensed and–as she put it–kick ass therapist. She believed life was too short to limit yourself or others. As a result she was a frequent world traveler, had numerous tattoos, didn't do long term relationships and they never knew what look she'd be sporting when she walked through the door. Parker was adamant that Stasi was running and Veronica was inclined to agree but, she was no one to judge.

"I heard that, Stasi," Parker said as she danced her way into the living room.

"I was merely defending your right to get completely shit-faced," Stasi smiled.

"Anyway," Parker rolled her eyes as she lowered herself into her chair. "I made partner and will be planning a major celeb's wedding. Sorry, can't tell you who, very hush hush. And, we finally raised enough money for a new women's and children's center," Parker finished proudly. "So, what have all of you been up to?"

"Uh, Julian and I are working on some new password crack resistant software" Mac offered.

"And before she goes into too much detail on that," Parker interrupted, "Stasi, anything new?"

"I got a new patient today."

"And?"

"He's been having dreams about his dog," She smirked. "He's been having sex dreams…about his dog."

"You're a sex therapist," Parker said. "Wouldn't that be a case for a regular 'Help Doc! I'm a sick fuck' therapist?"

"I take a lot of different patients Parker, even sick fucks who dream of plowing their golden retriever."

"The world is going to hell," Veronica said dryly.

"Amen," Mac agreed.

"Veronica, anything new?"

"Not really, I've just been digging up some dirt on a woman's future daughter in-law."

"Any salacious details you can share?"

"Nope," Veronica smiled. "She's just your standard gold digger."

"Boo," Stasi exclaimed, earning a laugh from the other three women.

"Any news on the guy front?" Parker probed.

"Not everyone is as anxious to hear wedding bells as you are Parker," Stasi said. "I am single and loving it."

"You're in denial," Parker shot back. "Are you seriously telling me you don't want to get married?"

"Yes, that is what I am telling you," Stasi responded, causing Parker to roll her eyes.

"Well, I am sure Mark is going to propose any day now."

"Really?"

"I've been dropping hints like crazy."

"Oh, Parker," Veronica cringed.

"What?" Parker asked.

Veronica opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it, instead shaking her head. "Nothing, please continue."

"Okay…Oh, I set up Mac with a guy from Mark's firm. Well, it didn't go perfectly but, I think I saw some sparks."

"There were no sparks," Mac replied.

"Major sparkage," Parker mock whispered.

"Veronica?" Mac questioned, wanting to divert attention away from herself.

"Nothing to report."

8888888

Later that night Veronica and Mac made their way out of Parker's house, heading to their cars. It had been an interesting night to say the least. And the night had definitely served as a reminder that Parker and alcohol were very non-mixy.

They had continued their conversation on their careers and men. When Parker left the room to mix up yet another batch of margaritas for herself and Stasi, Mac had finally been given the chance to discuss her new project –not that Veronica & Stasi understood much of her technical jargon. After Mac had finished and Parker had returned, Stasi had given them a detailed account of her recent trip to Scotland, making special mention of a handsome Scotsman who'd been kind enough to give her a tour of the "real" Scotland. She had of course repaid him by giving him and in-depth tour of just about every hard surface in her hotel room.

All in all it had been a good evening but as the hours wound down Parker's alcohol consumption increased and as usual, the more she drank the younger she acted. By the end of the night she was up on the coffee table singing old Spice Girls hits and interminably trying to convince the rest of them to invite the neighbors over for spin the bottle. Stasi had been all for it but Veronica and Mac quickly made their excuses and bolted for the door.

"Do you ever wonder how, fifteen years later, we're still friends with her?" Veronica asked, smiling.

"Yeah, by all accounts it doesn't make sense."

"Yeah."

"But," Mac shrugged. "She's Parker. She's nice, energetic, driven when she is invested in something. I don't know, in a group of pessimists I guess it's good to have at least one eternal optimist. She's…peppy."

At that moment Parker's voice broke through the still night air, courtesy of an open window. She'd moved on from "2 become 1" and was instead bellowing "Wannabe." Veronica and Mac shared a brief look before bursting into laughter.

"That's definitely her," Veronica agreed.

They lapsed into silence as they reached their cars. Mac turned, eyeing Veronica.

"What?"

"How are you, really?" Mac asked, after a moment of consideration. "Stories on Logan run on ET every night, he's in the newspapers and magazines. There hasn't been this much coverage on him since we were teenagers."

For a moment Veronica was unsure of what to say, if she wanted to say anything at all. She knew Mac would back off if she asked her to. Mac was good like that, she'd invite conversation but never try and force it.

"Dick came to see me," Veronica admitted.

"Dick Casablancas?"

"Yeah, he said Logan is a mess, wanted me to find him and give him some 'sexy comfort'."

Mac's annoyance was clear on her face. "He's such a…"

"Dick?"

"Yes," Mac agreed. "What are you going to do?"

Veronica shrugged. "I'm not going to do anything. Things didn't exactly go well the last time."

"It's been three years. He might be ready to talk."

"I just…if he…I can't go through that again."

"I think he would like to see you again, even though he might not admit it."

"You've talked to him?"

"No," Mac shook her head. "Not recently, with everything that's happened, but yeah, we've kept in touch over the years." Mac paused for a long moment. "He has asked about you, occasionally."

"Yeah?"

"Do you love him, Veronica?" Mac asked gently.

"It doesn't matter. Loving someone doesn't mean they love you, or forgive you."

Mac sighed.

"You think I should go see him," Veronica deduced.

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"I want to know."

Mac leaned back against her car, choosing her words carefully. "Veronica, I've seen the two of you as you were friends, enemies, lovers. You two have a lot of history. Cheesy as it sounds; I'd just like to see both of you happy. I don't see that happening unless you both talk, work through everything that happened. I'm not saying you have to get back together. If you end up reconciling then great, and if you don't, hopefully you both can get some closure."

Veronica nodded.

"Honestly Veronica, don't worry about what anyone else believes is right. Just think about it and whatever you decide is fine."

"Yeah," Veronica sighed. "I should get going."

"Okay," Mac agreed. "Good night."

"Night."

Veronica watched Mac's taillights disappear around the bend. Mac had a point, she couldn't ignore that. However she wasn't ready to think about going to see Logan but, maybe she could think about thinking about it.


End file.
